Turning 30 Years old


Well, I made it.

I’m thirty years old.

30.

The big 3-0.

I really don’t believe it, but my new Vermont license says so. I knew this birthday was going to be hard in a few ways, but mainly because I still have that nagging feeling of “is this right?” Is this how my life path was supposed to go? Did I make a wrong turn or a wrong decision somewhere back there in my twenties? What if I took that leap and continue seeing that guy after one date-would I be settled down? Or would I have settled? Someone told me a few weeks ago that I don’t look like I should be turning 30. How are we supposed to look like? Or be? I have no idea as I’ve never been this age before. I’ve been steering clear of those “30 Things Women Should Know by 30” magazine entries because they are bullshit. It was easy to bleed over from 19 into 20-not a big difference. But, I certainly noticed how I’ve aged in 5 year increments. Mentality, emotionally, physically I can tell. My twenties are gone, and I am happy to stuff them in my memory and pull out one or two when I feel like it. But, hot damn, they are done.

I have had a vice grip on the idea that time is running out. Yet, things haven’t really started. Which is pretty much the story of my life. I’ve been in neutral for years, expecting people to make decisions for me, give me the green light and stamp of approval or just daydream of a better life, a better something. Never I did I realize that I HAD the keys to the kingdom the entire time. Long time coming.

So, here’s what I am promising to myself. Always have those keys in my hand and move forward. I have really great intuition, and I need to trust it more.

Trust. Strength. Curiosity. Clarity. Love. Adaptability. These I desire and I hope to receive.

As my thesis for graduate school takes shape, I’ll probably be blogging less. I’m ready for winter, to be holed up in my apartment, to be more introspective, and hopefully churn out a successful paper and art piece. I hope so. I hope so. I hope so.

Thirty years…go by in a blink.

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Twenty Ninth Birthday


And now for a special Friday Finds(and a day late)…my twenty ninth birthday was yesterday. This didn’t truly shake me up like last year, or when I turned twenty five. Maybe I am ready for the last year of this decade, and looking towards my thirties? I feel like I am getting to know me better…did a move out of the 901 cause that? Probably. I’m around some pretty cool people(not that I wasn’t in Memphis), but the vibe is different. I hope I am not looking through rose colored glasses.

I spent yesterday sweating it out on a yoga mat, eating cupcakes, and drinking some tasty ice tea mojitos. There was a surprise italian cream cake. A tipsy outing back to campus to hear a professor of mine talk about art, and then bed by midnight. Pretty chill day and amazed at the amount of wishes in social media world that I received. I got some birthday money from my grandmother, a pretty cool scarf from Big Al back home, and cards from friends. And I decided to partake in a tarot card reading…pretty¬†interesting¬†and why not?

Here’s some pics of the day:

Cora’s cake that she brought–pretty tasty.

Birthday present pour moi

I saw the Rum Diary this week, and fell asleep due to being tired from school-I need to read the book now. School is going well, just the end of the semester is nigh, and everyone knows it. It’s getting colder, and I’m sure snow will be here soon. I’m excited for my first Vermont snowfall.