Everyone keeps going to their devices because of fear of missing out. I’m constantly going on Instagram, Twitter, wondering what’s going on in my friends’ lives. What am I missing? I want that for radio. What’s on right now, right now, that I didn’t know I wanted to listen to?
Nostalgia has been shown to counteract loneliness, boredom and anxiety. It makes people more generous to strangers and more tolerant of outsiders. Couples feel closer and look happier when they’re sharing nostalgic memories. On cold days, or in cold rooms, people use nostalgia to literally feel warmer.
It seems when I am walking home during the week that it is usually between 4:45pm-5:30pm. I don’t need a watch or a glance at my iPhone because overhead I can hear and see the murder of crows flying to their perches. Willard Street in Burlington has large, old oaks, hemlocks, and pine trees that these birds love to flock to at this time of day. It’s fun to just stand in the middle of the sidewalk and watch this curtain of black birds envelope the sky for a few minutes. It’s clockwork, it’s routine, it’s predictable.
Since I last posted, my thesis work is chugging along with deadlines approaching SOON. My thesis consists of a paper and an artifact(an art piece) that represents my work. I am looking at how people of all ages have accepted or have resisted technological change in their lives. Do we have to adapt or change? Why do we hold on to our nostalgic pasts? How is technology helping us in our work? What are our first technological memories? By conducting interviews recorded by my iPhone, I am digitally editing these interviews on Garageband, and then recording the .m4a’s to cassette tape. Those tapes will be put into Califone shoebox tape players and will be hung up(or mounted…installation final word is still debatable) for people to listen to the stories. Old media meets today’s new media. Obsolete objects that are losing their tangible place in the music world are still relevant, still be used. It’s a metaphor for people-senior citizens can feel left behind or out of touch because they don’t know how to use today’s technologies and today’s “digital natives”(a term I’m starting to dislike) are at a loss of proper social skills or social cues due to too much screen time or the use of digital tools during face to face time. My classmates and I will have a show on May 3rd in Burlington and I’m excited for the show. I graduate the following week. These semesters seemed so long when I was in the middle of them, and now the end is nigh.
Once again, I’m at a point of unpredictability. I’ve been accepted to the American University of Paris’s summer French immersion program and my dream is here. Yet, what if a dream job is offered post graduation? I’m looking at everything from all angles, but I know if six weeks of my life isn’t spent in Paris, I’ll live with resentment and regret.
I guess I just answered my problem. It’s just the usual worries-money, finding a job, money, paying off student loans, money, job searching and job waiting.
Maybe my crow friends have a secret I don’t know-they always know where to land. Everyday like clockwork. When days are tough, I’ll just look up and wait.
I made it to the Burlington airport about two hours early for my flight today. I overestimated how long it would take to get up, finish cleaning up my place, and make it out the door to run a quick errand before I get something to eat at a coffee shop and to the airport.
I have time on my hands to people watch and to reflect over the last semester. I feel like I ran another race this fall with my four classes, my small teacher assistantship(which really was more of printer paper refilling than actually helping students), and prepping for my thesis work. One of my classes, Collaborative II, was a continuation from my summer Collaborative I class and it was my first time to work with a client for over seven months. It was a lot of work, time, meetings, planning, and a super big presentation in late November. I feel confident that we impacted the group of stakeholders who attended and would love for the project to receive funding, but I want nothing to do with it for four months. I learned to let go of expectations, and just push forward. Focus on myself. Prepare for my future.
Flying home to Memphis this Christmas time may be different that last year, possibly because I don’t know the next time I’ll be in Tennessee. I hope to see people I haven’t seen in months and talk to my grandmother as much as possible. My thesis may get some attention(I definitely need to do interviews), but I also just want to watch the 200 channels my parents have on their TV, eat barbecue, and see Les Miserables.
These next ten days will be a change of pace, and I guess I need it. Merry Christmas all.
Here are some crazy cool things I found on the interwebs:
John Lewis is a English store that apparently does really great commercials. Here’s their Christmas ad from 2011.
Did y’all catch this photo of cast of The Princess Bride 25 years later?
An entire Tumblr dedicated to everything Christmas.
Probably the most honest statement made about the Newtown, CT tragedy. It’s not just a gun control issue, but also a mental health issue.
Well, I made it.
I’m thirty years old.
The big 3-0.
I really don’t believe it, but my new Vermont license says so. I knew this birthday was going to be hard in a few ways, but mainly because I still have that nagging feeling of “is this right?” Is this how my life path was supposed to go? Did I make a wrong turn or a wrong decision somewhere back there in my twenties? What if I took that leap and continue seeing that guy after one date-would I be settled down? Or would I have settled? Someone told me a few weeks ago that I don’t look like I should be turning 30. How are we supposed to look like? Or be? I have no idea as I’ve never been this age before. I’ve been steering clear of those “30 Things Women Should Know by 30” magazine entries because they are bullshit. It was easy to bleed over from 19 into 20-not a big difference. But, I certainly noticed how I’ve aged in 5 year increments. Mentality, emotionally, physically I can tell. My twenties are gone, and I am happy to stuff them in my memory and pull out one or two when I feel like it. But, hot damn, they are done.
I have had a vice grip on the idea that time is running out. Yet, things haven’t really started. Which is pretty much the story of my life. I’ve been in neutral for years, expecting people to make decisions for me, give me the green light and stamp of approval or just daydream of a better life, a better something. Never I did I realize that I HAD the keys to the kingdom the entire time. Long time coming.
So, here’s what I am promising to myself. Always have those keys in my hand and move forward. I have really great intuition, and I need to trust it more.
Trust. Strength. Curiosity. Clarity. Love. Adaptability. These I desire and I hope to receive.
As my thesis for graduate school takes shape, I’ll probably be blogging less. I’m ready for winter, to be holed up in my apartment, to be more introspective, and hopefully churn out a successful paper and art piece. I hope so. I hope so. I hope so.
Thirty years…go by in a blink.